Talks about wisdom teeth and master´s degree programs fill
me with tenderness
Para
Marina Abramovic e Leandro Testa
Meu
dente caiu, mas não como frutas maduras que caem do pé: sozinhas. Por não
mastigar nada mais além da própria boca e ainda carear os dentes próximos, meu
molar mártir foi imolado – como um Cordeiro de Deus na Sexta-feira da Paixão,
por uma sacerdotisa japonesa vestida de branco.
Meu
sobrinho de cinco anos me perguntou se eu ia deixar o dente debaixo do
travesseiro. “Para que fazer isso?”, perguntei a ele. “Para aparecer a
Fada-do-Dente, ué!”
As
fadas-do-dente da minha infância não buscavam dente debaixo do travesseiro:
elas os buscavam em cima dos telhados. “Elas eram muito mais ninjas, porque
tinham que fazer rapel”, contei para a criança que agora não vê a hora de
deixar seus dentes no telhado de casa.
Simpatizei com a ideia de ter com a
Fada-do-Dente. Deixei o mártir-molar debaixo do travesseiro, para que seu
sacrifício não fosse em vão.
No
limiar entre a vigília e o sono, eis que surge de vestido e manto negros, como
uma Nossa Senhora dos Bálcãs, ela: Marina Abramovic! Só acredito quando ela
tira o véu, deixando a cabeleira espessa e tão negra quanto suas vestes aparecer
e diz, com seu sotaque sérvio:
“So, what do you want in exchange for your tooth,
honey?”
“Well, I can´t be sure exactly right now, I´m
confused… Is this some kind of… performance?”
“Yes, it is. After pursuing intense exchange of energy
and interaction with my audience for long periods and through simple actions,
now I have been interested in performing with semi-conscious partners, as you
are at this moment.”
“Oh my f*** God! But why me? Why have you come as
Tooth Fairy?”
“It is all about losses and grief. You´ve shed your tooth
and you know: this time it won´t erupt another one to replace it. This is not
easy, not at all.”
“You´re right: it´s not easy, but I´m not suffering...
Actually, all this stuff is too good to be true: I got rid of a weird tooth and
Marina Abramovic is paying me a visit! Don´t pinch me, please! I wanna believe.
I think I have a wish now!”
“And what do you want? A new bicycle or a new doll?
Girl, you´re bluffing! If you don´t feel for your tooth, you wouldn´t let him
under your pillow… But, tell me about your real
desire!”
“I don´t know how to express it, but first I must
confess: my life is full of rupture and reinvention. I wasn´t made for it; I
was made for being the same my whole life! However, mama, after so many
backwards and forwards, ups and downs, I have to admit: I kinda like it! I just
don´t do this more often because it hurts as hell, always, no matter how many
times it happens in my life.”
“Pain protects us, honey…Your wish?”
“It´s about my master´s degree… Again: I had to play
the Drama Queen role for gaining my entrance at the University. It was a
long road, but I am really aware of this is just beginning! I must rock, mama, and it´s not for vanity at
all. It´s because I feel the weight of a great responsibility on my shoulders,
every time I am studying or reading about it. And you know: I am so mature as
my 5 years old nephew! I should be reading right now, writing articles and
presentations, but I am here, talking about wisdom teeth and master´s degree
programs with you, mama!”
“Talks about wisdom teeth and master´s degree programs
fill me with tenderness, honey. You´ re blessed now and you can go on, you know
it. Don´t blame yourself for having fun with your imagination sometimes… your
brain needs some breath, just as your heart. Satisfy your guts first, so you
will satisfy your soul.”
…E
desapareceu, me deixando aqui sem um dente, mas cheia de ternura.
São
Paulo, 06 de Abril de 2015.
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